This Blog is Not About Tea

When impulsively creating this blog during a lull in my work day, I BBMed my sixteen year old brother/life coach with the news.

“I just created a blog. Weird?”
“About what?”
“I don’t know! What should I write about?”
“Your feelings”
“Emo”
“Haha. What else would it be about?”
“Something cool! Like sushi or tea?”
“Mehh you might seem too hipster. ”
“Well which do I want to be? Emo or hipster?”
“Emo. Hipsters aren’t cool.”
“Ohhh…”

I was shocked. Shocked because I’m living in San Francisco, California where skinny jeans and leather jackets are the uniform while gourmet coffee, getting back to vinyls and wayfarer frames are the cultural norm. (Use of the term “normal” in SF is totally objective. “Normal” is also a man in a purple bunny suit riding his bike through the streets on a Tuesday afternoon.) Hip is hip right now… or so I thought. This changes everything.

As I leaned back in my office chair to contemplate my prophetic younger sibling’s advice, I realized he was right. Then I realized that its incredibly overwhelming to realize that you’re baby sib can sometimes outsmart you… but let’s be honest, I’ve known that since he teased me about having a shotgun wedding when he was 10 and I was 18 and clueless to the implications of that phrase. He was right about two things. Writing about tea is hipster, and I might actually have a shot gun wedding.

In a world where I admire (covet) the fashionably forward business savvy socialistas, I need to get one thing straight. I’m turning into Liz Lemon. This has become clear to me as I’ve embarked on the first three months of my corporate job; spending the first three hours at the office with last night’s zit cream on my forehead, dribbling coffee on my freshly laundered powder pink oxford 10 minutes into the day, or my favorite, getting to a meeting late because the office’s powdered creamer (WTF) is not agreeing with last night’s adventurous endeavor at the Thai Noodle House in Union Square.

According to the March 2010 issue of Vogue, Liz Lemon is actually “every woman” - but comeonnn who wants to be mediocre? Printed on the grossly pretentious Lululemon shopping bag, there is a quote from their “Manifesto.” (Yes. Manifesto. OK, who do these people think they are? Sure, I love the stuff as much as the next sweaty yoga girl, but I swear people carry these bags around like freakin’ Louis Vuittons. OKOKOK, so I did too… BUT- I had the decency to stop after I lost my appetite while reading the pretentious, arrogant, we-are-so-wholesome-and-healthy, modgepodge of quotes on the thing- not what you want to read while stuffing your face with lunch…) Anyway, what the "cooler" of the two Lemons said to me over my peanut butter and banana sandwich was this, “Nature wants us to be mediocre because we have a greater chance to survive and reproduce. Mediocre is as close to the bottom as it is to the top, and will give you a lousy life.” Lulu, you’re saying that if I’m Liz, I’m lousy? I certainly don't want that, but how else can I fit into my new corporate niche?

Ah yes. The confident art student with a fresh take life is being pressed into the Creepy Crawlers mold of corporate America, and going down kicking, screaming, and spilling. (Oil painting and figure drawing to marketing and software sales?!) Suddenly my former (seemly charming) characteristics that passed off as “creative” and “original” dare I say… “stylish” in college, just make me weird from within the walls of my 10’x10’ carpeted holding cell – sorry – cube. And it’s not really funny when you don’t have a Jack Donaghy to lovingly tease you about all these character building moments.

Where can I find room for my sassy vigor? My days are spent at a desk, my evenings on a yoga mat, and my nights hip to hip (hipsters? Shoot.) on the only piece of furniture I share with my partner in crime/roommate. (A leather love seat… that actually isn’t even ours.)

One thing is for damn sure. I’m not going down without a fight. I need to find the way to be successful AND passionate in this city, in this life. So my first shot at reactivating this creative energy without TOTALLY spazzing a la Liz? I’m going to write about it. Like with any self-important blog, I will use an abundance of adjectives. I will also taking full advantage of using-dashes-to-string-together-words-do-i-sound-like-Carrie-Bradshaw-yet-?-. Welcome to my project- possibly pretentious, probably too honest B.L.O.G. I’m finding Grace.